Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Why do we stand in prisons of shame and yet we can be freed? why do we look to teh Sky for answers yet fail to accepte it once it has arrived? Does not an eagle soar so high as to swoop and steal its food from teh talons of the falcon? Doets not the lord do teh same can he not save us above and beyond what we see fit for a bird? can he not give us more then we need? can he not give us strength to battle? can he not renew our hearts so taht we may fight a good battle?
Monday, October 19, 2009
Only Hope
What is it in love that cannot be taken away? Is it the feeling of ecstasy? is it the knowing of internal warmth? Is it the final thought of who loves one more most?
darkness seems to be a realm that never ceases fighting. even when i sleep i am prepared to fall. For out of darkness lurks the dark beings who devour and feast on the flesh of the wicked. Wow, ok so who is phsycotic? um well me kinda, not really. its more like teh utter fact that im a flippin sinner, that i have no face value, that this phosode of a life is so corrupting to all who look at me. And i can no longer find peace with my own methods of joy and tranquility. For out of nothing i can be nothing its like i cant even understand why im the way i am. but then im reminded that i dont sin because God made me that way but becasue i am weak and have not asked for stregth, i have not stood strong to my own human words but let down each own and disgrunted to my own exsistence. I have let nothing but lies and sinful nature control my life and my very exsistence of joy. Out of such i have hurt many and left few remaining to actually confide in. i have killed each iwth the same tactic, a batit thena drop once i am understood to teh point of my own liking perhaps more tehn ever it is time the i quiet being a people pleaser and suck up to the fact that i struggle with crap all teh time. every single day i strulgge with my very exsistence, with the reason of my being, with the understanding of who i am to marry, of who i am to date, of what i am to do to fufill my chosen path before the Lord,. Somedays i want no fight at all. right now is one of those days, i hate life, i dont want to fight, i dont watn to stand up, i watn to blend in adn just be found out, like get in trouble so that i may in return like be disciplined for my own actions taht have gone unheeded for so long.
darkness seems to be a realm that never ceases fighting. even when i sleep i am prepared to fall. For out of darkness lurks the dark beings who devour and feast on the flesh of the wicked. Wow, ok so who is phsycotic? um well me kinda, not really. its more like teh utter fact that im a flippin sinner, that i have no face value, that this phosode of a life is so corrupting to all who look at me. And i can no longer find peace with my own methods of joy and tranquility. For out of nothing i can be nothing its like i cant even understand why im the way i am. but then im reminded that i dont sin because God made me that way but becasue i am weak and have not asked for stregth, i have not stood strong to my own human words but let down each own and disgrunted to my own exsistence. I have let nothing but lies and sinful nature control my life and my very exsistence of joy. Out of such i have hurt many and left few remaining to actually confide in. i have killed each iwth the same tactic, a batit thena drop once i am understood to teh point of my own liking perhaps more tehn ever it is time the i quiet being a people pleaser and suck up to the fact that i struggle with crap all teh time. every single day i strulgge with my very exsistence, with the reason of my being, with the understanding of who i am to marry, of who i am to date, of what i am to do to fufill my chosen path before the Lord,. Somedays i want no fight at all. right now is one of those days, i hate life, i dont want to fight, i dont watn to stand up, i watn to blend in adn just be found out, like get in trouble so that i may in return like be disciplined for my own actions taht have gone unheeded for so long.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)